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Joke of the Day

"Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel glad to be alive? I just did and I won't be allowed on this airline again"

"it is pretty silly joke... what is the similarity between cops and dick!!!! they can stand anywhere any time.."

"melancholy is my favorite feeling that also sounds like a delicious dog"

"How come Jews run the world? Because they dominate the gas industry"

"So, Schrodinger walks into a vet with his cat. The nurse takes the cat, goes into the room, and comes out 10 minutes later. ""Sir, we have good news and bad news."""

"Treat your relationships as you would your teeth, daily attention and they could last a lifetime, too bad the same can't be said for hair."

"Democrats have been really angry over the 2016 election results The last time Democrats were THIS angry is when the Republicans took their slaves away"

"Tifu by farting in my girlfriend's face It was a shitty thing to do."

"I was asked who my favourite X-men was the other day... Apparently Caitlyn Jenner was inappropriate."

"When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. And that tells you everything you need to know about marriage."