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Joke of the Day

"I was asked who my favourite X-men was the other day... Apparently Caitlyn Jenner was inappropriate."

"How many Astros fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Both of them."

"What's Beethoven doing in his grave? He's decomposing."

"Why did the integer drown? Because it can't float."

"I try to explain to my kids during the movie that in reality, even a cowardly lion would eat a girl and a little dog."

"Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye Use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're literally Hitler"

"Why can't you hear rabbits having sex in the woods? They have cotton balls!"

"What do people wear when they go to a new planet? Terraformal wear."

"TIL that in 1991 Woody Allen and Rick Moranis had plans to make a film together... Honey I Fucked The Kids"

"Two Sardars were fixing a bomb in a car. Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing? Sardar 2: Don't worry, I have one more."