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Joke of the Day

"Democrats have been really angry over the 2016 election results The last time Democrats were THIS angry is when the Republicans took their slaves away"

"Conjecture: At some point in 2013, our neighbors will get so high that they accidentally sell their own weed. For weed money. To buy weed."

"A chinese couple had a baby The baby turned out to be white. The father looked sternly at the mother and said: ""Two Wongs don't make a white."""

"""I woke up like this"" [looks terrible]"

"I use head&shoulders Me: I use head&shoulders frequently Friend: But you dont have dandroof? Me: Exactly!"

"Racism is 1/10 But it's 7/10 with Tamir Rice"

"Why do they call ""roach-clips"", ""roach-clips""??? because potholder was already taken. I know it's like a venn diagram of drug jokes and dad jokes."

"Why doesn't Superman like the Mummy? Because the Mummy's always saying, ""I'll be in the crypt tonight."""

"Marriage is like walk in park.... and the name of this park is ""Jurassic Park"""

"I love my husband. But, what really motivates me to stay married is how much weight I'd have to lose to date again."