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Joke of the Day

"*makes eye contact with beautiful woman across fancy restaurant* Waiter, send that woman a glass of your finest Sprite."

"I'm diabetic, and I can't eat sweets It'll cost me an arm and a leg. (It's ok for me to post this, cos I am actually a diabetic)"

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"5 DAYS AGO I was bit by a spider, and STILL, no super-powers. Comics lie."

"Why are goldfish crackers always smiling? Because they're baked.."

"Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? They couldn't get the moose in the oven!"

"Captain America: ok Avengers, we can defeat Ultron if we work as a team. Remember, no man is an island Island Man: oh come on not this again"

"What's the difference between a church bell & a church? A church bell peals from the steeple."

"Two wheels were spinning in a dessert One of them, being careful told the other one: ""Watch out there is a cactussssssss..."""

"What do you get when you throw a bomb in a French bathroom? Linoleum Blown-apart"