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Joke of the Day
"Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? They couldn't get the moose in the oven!"
Next Joke
"A) I don't care who is stalking my twitter B) I don't care who is saying terrible things about me C) I don't care - OH! Free iPad??? *click*"
"Has the passing of the holidays left you feeling alone in the world, unloved and depressed? Don't worry, Valentine's Day is coming right up!"
"Read in Richard Pryors voice... The other day I had to take a shit so bad... The shit came out and said DAMMMMMNNN I gotta take a shit!"
"My friends all judge me for being a heroin addict... I guess they just don't like strong women"
"I thought I was having a pretty productive day until I realized my phone is set to west coast time and I'm in NJ"
"Some people just don't understand evolution. I was talking to an Australian the other day who actually thought *he* came from Darwin! All credit to Milton Jones for that one."
"Be careful! Someone's using this sub to target victims He's a real predditor"
"What do a walrus and a ziploc bag have in common? They both like a tight seal."
"Im still waiting for a movie in which someone says ""buy me some time"" and the guy goes and buys him a clock"