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Joke of the Day
"5 DAYS AGO I was bit by a spider, and STILL, no super-powers. Comics lie."
Next Joke
"Did anyone see Bob Costas' double pink eye while watching the Olympics? I heard he got it from Putin."
"Which year is the most popular? 1969"
"What's Trump's favorite Pink Floyd album? The Wall. Huehuehue"
"If a man strikes thee on one cheek, turn to him the other. Then, having shown thyself impregnable to cheek attack, beat the crap out of him."
"Why did the farmer vivisect his daughter? He wanted to reverse cowgirl."
"20's: I can't remember where I left my keys 30's: I can't remember where I left my car 40's: I can't remember where I left my kids"
"Named my band Scheduled for Demolition so whenever it appears on a marquee, confused people write angry letters to the city council."
"What do you call it when a Greek handicap falls over? Olympus has fallen."
"Why do we.... Cook bacons and bake cookies?"