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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you throw a bomb in a French bathroom? Linoleum Blown-apart"

"From a Latin FAQ Q: In latin, when pairing foods with the verb **edo** (""I eat""), what case should you use? A: The om-nom-nominative."

"*man gets run over by a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry* *policeman informs family* ""There's no easy way to say this""..."

"I don't want to alarm anyone but I've purchased a ukulele. Soon as I can jam, there'll be auditions for my band behind the 7-11. NO WEIRDOS"

"What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The longer you play with it, the harder it gets."

"What do the LGBT community and computers have in common? Most people over 50 are scared of them and think they are destroying the fabric of society!"

"[Trump speaking at rally] I love this country. I love America. I love singing the *looks at smudged writing on hand* Strawbangled Panther"

"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? One..... Or two..."

"I used to joke and tell people I had STDs after intercourse But I had to change it! So now I joke and say I don't have any before."

"Watching The Bible. Didn't realize everyone spoke w/ a British accent back then. Neat."