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Joke of the Day

"Why are goldfish crackers always smiling? Because they're baked.."

"A guy at the bar asked me to pass him the salt and pepper, so I punched him in the face and yelled, GET YOUR OWN DISTINGUISHED HAIR JERK!"

"Kanye West agreed to play Santa Claus under the condition that children had to ask him what he wanted for Christmas."

"People with private Twitter accounts should know that withholding their tweets is like not letting us talk to their toddler on the phone."

"What do you call a relationship that never works out between guitarists? No strings attached"

"I told my dad that I was taking a C programming course. He offered to give me some pointers."

"What do you call a naked old man crawling out of a coal mine? 50 shades of grey's anatomy"

"What Do You Call A Black Person On The Moon? An Astronaut You Racist Bastard."

"What do we call of spill of the world's most abundant resource? A sunny day."

"I was going to tell the joke about the scarecrow... but I think it has already been posted."