135791

Joke of the Day

"Two wheels were spinning in a dessert One of them, being careful told the other one: ""Watch out there is a cactussssssss..."""

"I lied and told someone, ""I can't go to your party I have diarrhea."" I actually do have diarrhea but historically that hasn't stopped me"

"Nick Cave is not on Tinder because he's the Grindr man."

"Britain left the European Union.... Some think that the country will eurupt"

"Teacher- ""what does a chicken give you?"" Students- ""Meat!"" Teacher- ""Good! Now what does the pig give you?"" Students- ""Bacon!"" Teacher- ""Great! Now what does a fat cow give you?"" Students- ""Homework!"""

"News of Whitney Houston's death traveled with such speed. When I heard I couldn't help but crack up with emotion. She was a real heroin. It's such a blow. She really made a hash of things though."

"What do you call a naked golfer? Off-putting."

"So I found out a new way to piss people off"

"I'm having a hard time... contrtolling my erections."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? I dont know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance."