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Joke of the Day

"Anyone who can tell if they're speeding up or slowing down a ceiling fan on the first try is a wizard and should not be trusted."

"A woman has sued a hospital, stating that, after recent treatment, her husband had lost interest in sex. The doctors replied: All we did was correct his eyesight'"

"The only reason a Hillary Clinton presidency would be good for our country At $0.78 cents to the dollar, she'd be a bargain for our country"

"What's the difference between toilet paper and toast? Toast is brown on both sides."

"I'm Hungary I'm Russian to the kitchen to czech the fridge There is turkey But it's covered in Greece There's Norway I can eat that. Edit:spelling"

"How many buddhists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they enlighten themselves."

"A chemist is surprised by a pan of old-fashioned magnesium photo flash powder going off in front of his face. ""MgO!"" He shouts, temporarily blinded."

"So much has been going wrong in the USA You would think it had been built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds."

"Autocorrect changed honey to homey. Now, instead of going out to a romantic dinner we will be doing a drive-by."

"What is Irish and stays on your patio, even when it rains? Patty O'Furniture."