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Joke of the Day

"What is Irish and stays on your patio, even when it rains? Patty O'Furniture."

"What would bears be without Bees Ears"

"I thought the dryer shrank my clothes.. turns out it was the refrigerator"

"I got an oven today. It's pretty hot, isn't it?"

"Just blew pot smoke on the huge spider hiding in my shower. I figure if I do this a few more times, he'll be too stoned to attack me."

"50 Cent for a 2Pac of Eminems? That's Ludacris!"

"If I had a quarter for every time a homeless person asked me for change I still wouldn't give him any"

"Dirty: What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick in your ass."

"I attended a festival this weekend with premium pay porta-johns.. They had a special, 2 for the price of 1."

"""Mind control agents in chem trails sounds crazy? That's EXACTLY what the govt wants"" Bride: I shouldn't have let you write your own vows"