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Joke of the Day

"I'm Hungary I'm Russian to the kitchen to czech the fridge There is turkey But it's covered in Greece There's Norway I can eat that. Edit:spelling"

"[hardware store] Me: Let me do the talking. This is man stuff Wife: Fine Clerk: Can I help you? Me: I need a whacker thingy to hit nails"

"Therapist: Do you have any regrets? Me: Well, this one time Therapist [pinches bridge of nose] Other than buying fat-free salad dressing."

"Every Time a Child Isn't Conceived During Sex... ... It's usually the result of a short cumming"

"How many Americans does it take to change a bulb? None, Mexicans do it for them."

"How did the violinist learn to play violin? He just started fiddling with it."

"Think the person who invented dog food knew they came up with dog food? ""What do you think of my new dish?"" ""I think dogs would love it."""

"It's called a ""remote"" because those are your odds of finding it when you want to change the channel."

"What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self raising."

"If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving? The police officer."