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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a tractor and a giraffe? (first ever post in a year on reddit!) One has hydraulics and the other high bollocks! Brilliantly told by my Irish cousin."

"What do you call a microscope that when you look through it you see really bad things? A horoscope."

"What's the opposite of quantum physics? Logic. (If you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin') ...(if you don't like math jokes, trust me, sometimes it makes a difference)."

"You have 2 coins that make 30 cents, one is not a nickle... One is a Quarter and the other is a nickle. I'll see myself out..."

"I'm not racist People just disappoint me."

"What's the worst thing about being an atheist? You have no one to call to when you're having an orgasm."

"Just been offered a 42 Plasma TV for 100. Only problem is the volume control is broken, I thought fuck it, at that price you can't turn it down."

"What's wrong with Andrew Jackson? He had an Underground Rail Road too, called the Trail of Tears."

"To all the virgins out there Thanks for nothing!"

"Coworker: you play any sports Me: yeah but I've had to take a break from it CW: oh..Injury? Me: *thinks about broken controller* yeah..kinda"