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Joke of the Day

"Just been offered a 42 Plasma TV for 100. Only problem is the volume control is broken, I thought fuck it, at that price you can't turn it down."

"What does a mermaid wear to math class An algae-bra I'm not sorry"

"One Last Humiliation: The CIA Just Bungled An Attempt To Drop A Piano On Fidel Castro's Funeral Procession Luckily, It only cost them a grand."

"I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, that I clothe, that I school, that I inoculate for 75 cents a day. Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there."

"I prefer to buy rental properties that take up an entire city block or more. I'm in it for the long hall."

"Analysts are suprised Chris Christie ran for president in the first place They thought he'd walk"

"What did the vegan Neanderthal say when walking in to the woman's bathroom? Chickpea"

"Just walked by the place I had brunch last weekend and one of my friends is still sitting there talking about herself"

"I'm a necrophiliac... ...but my friends seem to be cool about it"

"SM A Masochist walks up to a Sadist. Masochist: Hurt me. HURT ME! Sadist: No."