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Joke of the Day

"You have 2 coins that make 30 cents, one is not a nickle... One is a Quarter and the other is a nickle. I'll see myself out..."

"What do Apple and The Titanic have in common? They both lost the Jack."

"My kid just randomly recited my wife's cell phone number that we had no idea he knew. Now we're getting fitted for suits and hitting Vegas."

"What do you call a lazy crocodile? A procrastigator (I'm trash)"

"""what if today's the day you learn about tacos and ostriches? You don't want to miss that, do you?"" - me manipulating my kid to school."

"I think all the women who don't get a rose on the Bachelor should at least walk away with a cat."

"There are 10 types of people in the world... Those that can read binary and those that can't."

"Whenever I'm drinking gatorade and wearing gym clothes I wonder if people think I'm exercising or if they know I'm hungover on laundry day."

"Did you hear that Iowa State is now offering Agriculture courses? It's a growing field"

"What did the waitress say to the man who wouldn't stop staring at her while she refilled his glass? Take a pitcher, it'll last longer!"