40874

Joke of the Day

"What's the opposite of quantum physics? Logic. (If you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin') ...(if you don't like math jokes, trust me, sometimes it makes a difference)."

"When a woman says, ""We need to talk"", it's no good. Never has a woman said, ""We need to talk"" and followed it up with ""about pillow forts""."

"The thought of Aortic Dissection just tears me up inside."

"Guns don't kill people Bullets do"

"The average human body contains enough human bones to make up an entire human skeleton."

"Over the weekend, the new ""Godzilla"" movie came out. I don't know how Godzilla doesn't hurt himself. I once had to go to the emergency room after stepping on a Lego piece."

"""There is no such thing as a stupid question."" - person who has never walked my family through attaching a photo to an email."

"I met this really hot Geologist today. She had quite a Gneiss ass."

"What do you call a failing brand? Calvin DeKlein."

"What did Jesus say to all the black people before he died on the cross? Don't do anything till I come back."