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Joke of the Day

"What's the opposite of quantum physics? Logic. (If you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin') ...(if you don't like math jokes, trust me, sometimes it makes a difference)."

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"I just met my 4 day old nephew yesterday, and today he acts like he doesn't even know me. Kids are assholes."
"I went to check out a premature ejaculators' support group this morning But it turns out it's tomorrow."
"What do you call a picture of an electric piano? Photosynthesis!"
"What are the strongest days? Saturday and Sundays. The others are weakdays"
"I saw my sister watching the show ""Dexter"" yesterday.. I thought it was a pretty weird show, but then again, I have seen stranger things on Netflix."
"Whats the best thing you get out of a penis? The wrinkles."
"50 cent heelys into a library. he slips and knocks over all the bookshelves. all the library users leave in disgust. they swear at him"
"What do you call a bundle of hay in a church? Christian Bale."
"It is so cold... fire hydrants are flagging down dogs to piss on them."