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Joke of the Day

"were do animals go when their tails fall off? The retail store. Edit: WHERE NOT WERE I'M RETARDED I KNOW :((((("

"""This may be our 85th viewing of this movie, but we'll watch it as intently as if it was only our 23rd"" -Toddlers"

"What's in a name? Mainly, letters that make sounds."

"I only complimented coz of no shave november Not sure why she got mad!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Boyzone ! Boyzone who ? Boyzone adventures !"

"I've never run a marathon, but once I walked real fast across a parking lot because Krispy Kreme was about to close."

"What is Hitler's least favourite Christmas song? All I Want From Christmas Is Jew"

"I am like an electron.... My wife can only make guesses at my precise location by means of a probability function"

"I bet Lance Armstrong is smugly saying ""at least I didn't kill anybody"" to like every person he sees today."

"[first date] Me: that is hilarious Date: ... Me: wait, bread or dead? Date: how would my parents be bread?"