171308

Joke of the Day

"I bet Lance Armstrong is smugly saying ""at least I didn't kill anybody"" to like every person he sees today."

"I just found out insomnia is illegal in my home town. They call it resisting a rest."

"What do root vegetables do at tha club? Turnip"

"Procrastination is like Masterbation In the end you just fuck yourself"

"I became a Jew today Only in it for the money."

"Teacher: If you spend all your time sitting round playing on the Internet you'll be fat and useless when you grow up. Pupil: Wow! You must have spent hours surfing when you were a kid!"

"What's better at math than you a retarded Asian April fooly! Gotcha Burn April fooly"

"Me: Hi. I can't take your call right now but please leave a message. CW: I'm standing right in front of yo... Me: BEEEEEEEEEEEEP"

"I probably should kill myself Because I want to leave the same way I came. By my own hand."

"What's 668? The Neighbor of the Beast."