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Joke of the Day

"The problem with psychotic cab drivers. They drive me crazy."

"My bf asked me to act like a ""naughty school girl"" for him so I forged a note from my mom saying I don't have to participate."

"My twittercide will be like the final scene in BraveHeart but a doughnut will fall from my hand in slowmo instead of an embroidered hanky."

"I'd like to thank /r/jokes for teaching me so many jokes! I've always hated the sound of laughter..."

"Why Aren't Elephants Allowed On The Beach?... Because they always blow their trunks off!"

"Two Jews walk into a bar That's it. Do Jews drink very little?"

"What do cows usually fly around in? Helicowpters and Bulloons."

"My friend who works at the movie theater died yesterday... Funeral services are being held today at 4:25, 5:40, 7:10 and 9:45"

"What is a Honeymoon salad? Lettuce alone."

"Did you hear about the sensitive thief? He took a fence."