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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the sensitive thief? He took a fence."

"why do mexicans make refried beans? Have you ever heard of a Mexican doing anything right the first time?"

"If you own a big home and someone tells you to go big or go home, you get trapped in a paradox forever and can't even die. I'm serious."

"A spinoff of Zootopia would have lampooned any people from a certain fandom who drew NSFW pictures of the two leads and shipped them. Alas, *Furry Vengeance* was already taken."

"A robot goes to see a psychiatrist... ""Just because my intelligence is artificial doesn't mean that my problems aren't real."""

"*brings donuts to work* Co-worker: I have a gluten allergy, so I have to watch what I eat. Me: Cool, then you can WATCH me eat this donut."

"I have the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the Lincoln Park Zoo"

"I've run out of Christmas wrapping paper so I'm going to use 'Happy Birthday' paper and write 'Jesus' after it."

"Why didn't the gunpowder plot work? Because gunpowder is black."

"My sister's a really bad driver. What makes you say that? Every time she goes out in the car Dad puts a glass panel in the floor so that she can see who she's run over."