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Joke of the Day

"Are you still looking for a job? I hear they're hiring at the zoo circumcising elephants. The pay is small, but the tips are big!"

"My girlfriend asked me if we could try fitness... I replied, ""fitness? How about we try fitness dick in your ass."""

"what idiot called it becoming a zombie and not waking up on the wrong side of the dead"

"What's small, gray, and came in little cans? Michael Jackson."

"What is the easiest way to kill a frenchman? Break his neck by slamming down the toilet seat, while he is drinking. - Otto von Bismarck"

"5: let's play the quiet game. Me: Okay 5: ready..? Start. Me: 5: Me: 5: whoever talks first is the loser."

"To much precaution... Two security guards obtained me at the airport after they opened my luggage and found some IcyHot patches, they said: I was packing heat."

"Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!"

"I went to a street where the houses were numbered 8k, 16k, 32k, 64k, 128k, 256k and 512k. It was a trip down memory lane."

"Somewhere an elderly lady reads a book on how to use the internet, while a young boy googles ""how to read a book""."