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Joke of the Day

"Why do you have to nuke siberia twice? The first one is just to break the ice."

"Why do they bury police officers 6ft under. Because deep down they are good people."

"Before I lose my phone, end up naked, high, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish all a Happy Saturday!"

"Did you hear Santa is getting divorced? Mrs. Clause caught him with a HO-HO-HO......"

"How is a broken clock better than a politician? The clock is still right twice a day."

"What do you get when you blow up a police station? Bacon bits I came up with this joke 15 years ago when I was a dumbass teen.. maybe in poor taste with everything going on but thought I'd share."

"Call me ignorant, but I have no idea what you're talking about. - ""That's exactly what ignorant means."" I don't get it."

"How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework."

"The nominees are Leonardo DiCaprio Leonardo DiCaprio Leonardo DiCaprio And the winner is *opens envelope* mad max fury road"

"I think my daughter might turn out to be the next Martin Scorsese! (Her eyebrows are fucking terrifying)"