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Joke of the Day

"Marvel is making a ""Winter Soldier"" standalone film and I get to play his roly poly sidekick. They call me...the ""Summer Sausage"""

"Breaking: Man takes longer to find emoji than it would have taken him to find words that convey what he wanted."

"Jay-Z's wife took him and their kid to the ocean for a day trip It was a Bey, Bey's bae, & baby bay day."

"What do you get if you cross a rhino with an elephant? I don't know but it's not relevant."

"What did the cheeseburger name her daughter? Patty."

"What did Drake Bell say to Batman? Sorry, still calling you Bruce! I found this on Facebook somewhere; I dunno who to get credit to."

"What happens when you combine alcohol and literature? Tequila Mockingbird"

"Closed letter to the mods of r/Jokes... O"

"If you aren't happy being single, you'll never be happy in a relationship. Get your own life first, then share it."

"If the only way you say ""Happy Birthday"" to someone is via their Facebook wall, they're not your friend."