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Joke of the Day

"Breaking: Man takes longer to find emoji than it would have taken him to find words that convey what he wanted."

"What do French stoners smoke? Oui-d"

"My 8 year old brother just asked me if I had a hole in my sock. Me: Of course not Him: Then how do you put your foot inside?"

"My neighbor started mowing his yard at 6am so I opened all my windows and vacuumed because I don't understand how revenge works."

"Have you been shopping for a dishwasher lately? I have Juan on sale."

"How many Borderline P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? Just one. To threaten suicide if you don't change it for him/her."

"What's the name for a person that only gives massages to men? A massagonist."

"Uncle got surgery to get 12 nipples It's not just me, it sounds super weird, dozen tit?"

"If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup technically a smoothie?"

"I am a man with Alzheimer's, AMA! EDIT: Why is everyone asking me questions?"