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Joke of the Day

"If you aren't happy being single, you'll never be happy in a relationship. Get your own life first, then share it."

"I had a friend who thoroughly hated music... He left no tone unspurned."

"Had a trip to the Docs I went to the doctors with hearing problems. He said ""Can u describe the symptoms?"" I said ""Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair"""

"How many tickles does a Japanese school girl want? Tentickles."

"Did you hear The Pentagon was actually supposed to be an octagon? but they hired a government contractor that cut corners"

"What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors? A reptile dysfunction"

"I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me."

"Why did the Smackhead kick the habit? He didn't like nuns."

"Since when did 'scrotum brown' become a cool colour to buy a jeep in?"

"My grandad is a real inspiration to get healthy, he starting running a mile a day when he was 65.... Now he is 70, we have no idea where he is"