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Joke of the Day

"Can you think of something more ironic than being a gay chiropractor? Choosing a career in which your job is to make people straight again."

"So we're basically living the plot of ""Contagion,"" but instead of dying girls keep getting bangs."

"My friends say I'm shallow... because I won't sleep with someone who's 200."

"What should you know before you teach your dog a new trick? You should know more than your dog."

"If you're happy and you know it, share your meds"

"[REQUEST] FAST! I'm trying to impress a girl by text. Send me your funniest jokes about potatoes. Anything having to do with potatoes. NSFW or not anything's fair game."

"Cop: ""Can you describe the person who robbed you?"" Me: ""He had on a black shirt and hat with a green apron and charged me $6 for coffee"""

"Australia wants to secede from the Commonwealth to distance itself from the British Monarchy... It will no longer be a kingdom and it can't be a principality, so it has to be a country."

"Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it's a small soft drink."

"Kobe Bryant's Wife filing for divorce. I bet somewhere right now Kim Kardashian is plotting.."