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Joke of the Day

"So we're basically living the plot of ""Contagion,"" but instead of dying girls keep getting bangs."

"There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't"

"How was my soup? Souperb."

"Where's the best place to apologise to someone? Surrey."

"Why isn't there a Superpig? It's too hard for a pig to change clothes in a telephone booth."

"Cockroach logic A cockroach can make your girl scream louder than you can. Hence the first part of its name."

"Q: You're sailing on a boat with a pack of cigarettes, but do not have a fire source, what do? A: Throw one overboard to make the boat a cigarette lighter."

"I snort bits of pork when I'm hungry. I call them hamboogers."

"All these mass shootings make me think... ... People must really hate Catholics right now"

"More money is spent on boob jobs and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research! By 2040 the elderly will have perky tits, stiff cocks and no fucking idea why!"