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Joke of the Day

"-Give it to me straight doc. -You'll never walk again. -Now give it to me gay. -You'll never stroll merrily down the boardwalk again."

"Why was Heisenberg's wife unhappy? Whenever he had the energy, he didn't have the time."

"If you feel like someone is playing mind games with you, they totally are and you should kill them before they kill you."

"You've heard about the moron pilot who once made a tricky landing, haven't you?It was the shortest runway he'd ever seen. And the widest, too."

"Before the Facebook, if someone disappeared, it meant you should go looking for them. Now it means they got a life."

"What's the best thing about escalator jokes The short delivery."

"My grandmother laughed when I said I was gonna build a car out of spaghetti. She wasn't laughing when I drove pasta."

"Why did Moses lead the Jews around the desert for 40 years? Because someone dropped a quarter."

"If men have man caves, why dont women have woman caves? They do, we just universally named it the kitchen many years ago."

"If your iPhone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract asians who will fix your electronics for you"