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Joke of the Day

"Before the Facebook, if someone disappeared, it meant you should go looking for them. Now it means they got a life."

"Don't judge me for my race, don't judge me for my gender. Judge me because I've read all four of the Twilight books."

"Whats the difference between fridge and a 14 year old boy? The Fridge dosen't cry when you put the meat in"

"I'm 0 for 3 in getting people to try a spoonful of my homemade peach jam on the subway platform this morning. Some days are challenging!"

"Stand Up Comedy Yes, I actually did some stand up comedy, but I didn't like it... every time I would get up on stage to do my routine, all people ever did was laugh at me..."

"Louise Jokes (my own jokes towards to my friend louise) ENJOY THESE LOUISE JOKES AND ALSO IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ANY OF THEM ILL REPLY TO SOME OF THEM THAT I MADE AND ILL EXPLAIN THE JOKE"

"I used to play water polo But the horse drowned"

"A guide to procrastination... I'll tell you later..."

"Why is the vagina like the weather? Because when it's wet it's time to go insiiiiiiide."

"Britain's fattest man has died aged 33. ""This tragic news will affect us all deeply,"" said Roger Whiteside, CEO of Greggs."