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Joke of the Day

"My grandmother laughed when I said I was gonna build a car out of spaghetti. She wasn't laughing when I drove pasta."

"- Fred, Velma, Shaggy... Can you name one of the 'Big 5' African animals? - Rhino - We know you do, Scooby, but it's not your team's turn"

"Yo mama jokes are dumb, overused, and low quality. Like yo mama."

"[at my dad's funeral after he drowns] ME: *places a wreath made of a life preserver on the coffin* It's what he would have wanted..."

"Why did Aristotle hate French fries? They were fried in ancient grease!"

"Why doesn't Japan have elections? I dunno but it's probably the reason for their low birth rates."

"If you don't know me, don't judge me. Unless you're making me a pizza and you say ""This woman looks like she wants extra cheese."" That's ok"

"How do you differentiate a basic bitch from a bad bitch? You pour phenolphthalein on her and watch it turn pink."

"Why are a German vegetarians pessimists? Because they always fear the wurst."

"What kind of cake does a baseball player prefer? A bundt cake!"