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Joke of the Day

"Obama is a cashier and you give him a $10 bill for a $9.97 item. What do you say to him? Keep the change it doesn't really make a difference."

"When women reach a certain age they start accumulating cats This is known as many paws"

"Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in the way that they are looking forward to it."

"If you see me longingly looking at you at the pub, i'm just wondering if you're going to eat all those nachos?"

"I'm done congratulating people for having babies. Parents have been getting praise for having sex incorrectly for way too long."

"Which mafia boss came with all the dlc? John Goty"

"Planet joke. If you make a cake that looks like Mars, could you say it's out of this world? ;)"

"I love Taco Bell so much that I even enjoy being *asked* what style of tacos I want... I get hard every time."

"There are plenty of fish in the sea. There are also sharks, giant isopods, oil spills, Flight 370, and Somali pirates."

"If Twitter was invented by a woman, The character limit would be 10,000 characters."