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Joke of the Day

"[At urinal maker store] Urinal maker: Let's make some of them curved so the pee splashes on their legs LOL. Other urinal maker: K. LOL"

"CarefulWhere's your shoesPlease stop cryingMaybe eat somethingYou dropped the bottle- things you say to babies & drunks."

"Coworker: What did you do on vacation? Me: Didn't come to work. Coworker: I know that! Me: Good. Glad you understand how vacations work."

"What gets whiter as it gets dirtier? Michael Jackson!"

"We all missed harambe Except the bullet!"

"What's a ghost's favorite type of porn? Boookakke!"

"I'm surprised ABC hasn't resolved the Healthcare Crisis with a new reality show. Extreme Makeover: Universal Healthcare Edition."

"*pokes forehead* Is this thing on ?"

"Can the ninja throw his ninja stars? Shurikan"

"The waiting list for the WiiU.... Just got shorter in Conneticut"