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Joke of the Day

"*pokes forehead* Is this thing on ?"

"I applied to Hogwarts the a few weeks back. Unfortunately, I didn't get accepted. Figured I could just Slytherin."

"Your smile must be a black hole, nothing can escape its pull."

"If I had to describe myself in three words... It would be; Tall, dark and unable to follow basic instructions"

"I had a friend buy a European car and he kept telling me about it breaking down. I had to tell him that I didn't want to hear anymore of his Saab stories."

"*dumps more fleas on my head* *sits back down in front of chimpanzee* So, anyway, like I was saying..."

"Did you hear about the new bolt the apple company made? The eye bolt"

"this 'donkey kong' aspires to humanity through the gesture of the necktie. yet it is the hoarding of his wealth that truly makes him human"

"People in glass houses Should go to the bathroom in the basement."

"Like my Uncle always told me, if at first you don't succeed... keep sucking until you do suck seed."