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Joke of the Day

"CarefulWhere's your shoesPlease stop cryingMaybe eat somethingYou dropped the bottle- things you say to babies & drunks."

"What's the best vegetable to bring to a party? Stephen Hawking"

"Some of the Southern states seem like they're at least 90% Christian. And that's just roughly a Conservative estimate."

"How did NBC respond to someone who criticized their broadcasting? I (*commercial break*) can't (*commercial break*) understand (*commercial break*) your accent (*commercial break*)."

"*shows up to marathon with perfect hair* Yeah I've been conditioning a lot for this race"

"Why was the Ethiopian baby crying? He was having a mid-life crisis"

"I tried to think of a good music joke But that sort of thing really isn't my forte."

"What do you do if a bird shits on your car? Don't ask her out again."

"What's black and eats pussy? Cervical cancer"

"Bruce Jenner? More like Bruce Transjenner!"