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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: What did you do on vacation? Me: Didn't come to work. Coworker: I know that! Me: Good. Glad you understand how vacations work."

"Why was the blind guy always so happy? He couldn't see any reason not to be!"

"According to math, I'm broke"

"What do you call a kind rock Gneiss"

"Moses: Thanks for the mana in the desert. God: No problem. Moses: But since you can make anything- God: FOR THE LAST TIME, NO PIZZA."

"Why did the ram run off the cliff? ...He didn't see the ewe turn! .>_<."

"Last night, Gotye won Record of the Year. Parents were like, ""Who's Gotye?"" while their kids were like, ""What's a record?"

"What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob? A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob."

"I'm just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to help me put a bunch of ducks in my car."

"If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and emailed me 3 days later asking if I have a job yet"