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Joke of the Day

"Two years ago, I've shook with famous comedian and I haven't washed my hand since. It smells funny."

"""1. Roll around in bed for a few hours. 2. Get kind of dressed. 3. DON'T EAT!"" - to do list for American Apparel models"

"Once upon a time, there was a Mexican family... that had only Juan kid."

"I don't know why China wants to continue the One China policy... I mean, the One Child policy didn't turn out too well."

"I texted my ex, I'm at a cemetery..... wish you were here."

"What's a chiropractor's busiest day? Throwback Thursday."

"They should make an iPad with a fold-open keyboard that can sit on your lap."

"What do you call a Mexican on a bike? a dirt bike"

"I only do cocaine with the flexible straws. So I can reach my dashboard while i'm driving."

"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroganoff"