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Joke of the Day

"[The Justice League on patrol] Superman: Wait! I smell something fishy... Batman:*chuckles* Aquaman: Know what? Screw you guys. I'm going home"

"What is a toad's favorite kind of beer? One with a lot of hops."

"What do you call a dog with no hind legs and brass balls? Sparky"

"Hey, if anyone needs help raising their kids, come talk to me. I've been one for 30 some years now."

"What do Jewish women get when they go to the gynecologist? A pap schmear."

"YOU'LL GO BLIND When we were young teens, we were told not to masturbate or you'll go blind. I always thought that was a joke until I heard about what happened to Bill Cosby"

"I called into a suicide hotline And they tried to save my life, talk about misleading."

"Did you hear about that brilliant Irish investor? His money just keeps Dublin"

"Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Huge tits."

"[texting] me: I just left and I already miss you wife *typing response* me: (can you read that to the dog for me)"