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Joke of the Day

"*tweets about new invisibility cloak invention* *forgets where he left it*"

"Where's the best place to find a dog with no legs? Where you left it"

"""do you know why I pulled one over on you?"" becau- wait what? ""I'm not a real cop lol"" haha nice! *pulls gun* ""I am taking your car though"""

"Why was Crassus bad at insults? He never really got the hang of Parthian shots."

"I just accidentally put my mic too close to my guitar amp and I think I made a Skrillex song."

"Using what sexual position often causes a couple to have an ugly baby? I don't know, ask your mom."

"why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know..."

"What kind of blowjob does a screwdriver give? Flathead"

"Q: You know what the problem with political jokes is don't you? A: They get elected."

"Your momma is so fat That when she dies, the moon will finally be able to break orbit"