76659

Joke of the Day

"Why was the graveyard so noisy? Because of all the coffin."

"[flying remote control helicopter near my wife] GET THAT THING AWAY FROM MY- [helicopter gets tangled in her hair & now I'm a dead person]"

"On a hunch, I tried looking for the murderer at the corpse auction. As soon as the auctioneer started it was a dead giveaway."

"Why was the radioactive food going to taste bad? The meal would fallout of flavor."

"Did you hear about the bad pizza? It was a Peace'a'shit"

"Stepped on an action figure in the shower and simultaneously invented six new cuss words in four different languages."

"Why was Jon walking backwards on the first day of school? Everyone kept saying it was back to school time."

"Why did the chemist break his teeth? He ate a Pb and j sandwich I'd tell you another but all the good jokes argon"

"I tried eating a whole llama once. I couldn't finish it, so I figured ""Eh, alpaca lunch for tomorrow."""

"I took some pictures of my girlfriend's butt this morning I'm saving them for posteriority."