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Joke of the Day

"9 out of 10 doctors reccommend for children to drink water instead of soda that 1 doctor lives in flint michigan"

"*gets pulled over* Do you know how fast you were going? *pulls string* *inflates emergency mustache* Oh sorry officer. You're free to go."

"There are three ways a man wears his hair - parted- unparted or departed"

"Your father is so absent... When I Google searched him it returned: Error 404 Not found."

"I'm DJ'ing my daughter's 11th bday. As DJ D. A. D. , I need to collect your best dad jokes suitable for the mic! I'm sure she'll forgive me... eventually.... Hit me!"

"Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pac-man. For 25 cents she would swallow balls until she died."

"What does a sheep say after walking into a disgusting, dirty bar? Ew."

"Kids are so inquisitive. ""Will robots ever take over the world?"" Me: ""Almost certainly."" ""But when? Before I die?"" ""A bit before, yes."""

"Which character of Pokemon is a jew? Ash"

"I broke up with her... Her name was ""anti gravity"" and she would never ""go down"" on me."