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Joke of the Day

"There are three ways a man wears his hair - parted- unparted or departed"

"What did the Mexican girl say to her fiance? You're the Juan!"

"As the news breaks of the passing of Michele Ferrero... I can't help but shed a chocolatier."

"Never trust a screw... ... They might turn on you!"

"If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks... I wouldn't have to give so many blowjobs."

"What's a pirate's favorite video game? **Call of Booty.** Because there's mighty phat loot and booty ta be pillagin' and plunderin', matey."

"What did Santa say at the brothel? Hoe! Hoe! Hoe!"

"My girlfriend asked me why I was sitting with the eggs... I couldn't find my whisk, and if you can't beat them, you might as well join them..."

"What do you say when a dog runs away? Dog-gone!"

"Mickey Mouse's lawyer calls... ...And tells him, ""Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because shes 'crazy'"" and Mickey responds, ""I didn't say she was crazy, i said she was fucking goofy!"""