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Joke of the Day

"I'm DJ'ing my daughter's 11th bday. As DJ D. A. D. , I need to collect your best dad jokes suitable for the mic! I'm sure she'll forgive me... eventually.... Hit me!"

"My girlfriend likes to call my dick ""The Cannon"" because it has a short fuse and only one ball."

"ONCE APON A TIME... #2 yeah I no-one likes school I escaped :P"

"Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you'll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief"

"Q: How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb? A: He doesn't. He declares darkness the industry standard."

"I should have made a website called www.reallydontfit.com and posted all the pics of fat chicks wearing skinny clothes this weekend. @MaleHonesty86"

"Why did the skeleton cross the road? He never crossed the road, he didn't have the guts to do it."

"What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick."

"Someone asked Trump how he planned to build the wall he said ""On the day I got elected 60 million people shit a brick and Mexico agreed to pay for the mortar"""

"[First date] Her: i'm a criminal lawyer, what do you do? Me: really, well it just so happens that I... (trying to impress her) ...am a criminal"