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Joke of the Day

"What does a sheep say after walking into a disgusting, dirty bar? Ew."

"I tripped over some shrooms the other day...Because I didn't see them. It was dark and I was high."

"How do you get the guitar player off of your porch? Pay for the pizza."

"if your grave doesnt say ""rest in peace"" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war"

"In a world full of lefts Nothing would be right."

"Nobody can negotiate like a 4 year old told he has 2 minutes til bed."

"The funny thing about boobs is, if you've seen two... ...you want to see them all."

"What's the first letter of the Canadian alphabet, eh?"

"The principal at my school called me in to his office today. He said ""I've just had a rock thrown through my window, are you responsible?"" No, I'm irresponsible. That's why I threw it."

"Sometimes when I look into the toilet I realize that I'm not a regular guy."