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Joke of the Day

"Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pac-man. For 25 cents she would swallow balls until she died."

"God took a paternity test He found out he was the father, the son and the holy spirit."

"50/50 What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick."

"Q. Who's the coolest guy in the hospital? A. The Ultrasound Guy http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sound&defid=491809"

"Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says ""I'll have h2o"" The second scientist says ""I'll have a water"" The first scientist goes back home and rethinks his assassination plan."

"Why did America remove the ""u"" from ""colour""? Because fuck u that's why"

"You might have heard about the Chevy Camaro IROC, but do you know what IROC stands for? Italian retard out cruising."

"Did I tell you about my attempt to grow bananas in sand? It was fruitless."

"If you see a profile pic with 1 fat girl and 1 pretty girl and can't figure out who's profile it is, make no mistakes... it's the fat one's."

"Romantic comedies are just horror movies where people only die on the inside. Also, my wife doesn't let me pick movies for date night."