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Joke of the Day

"If a server comes to my table and asks 'hows everythin tasting?' mid chew I like to grab their wrist and keep them there until I can answer"

Next Joke
 
"Bough some shoes from my drug dealer. They were pretty nice"
"Dark humor is like food Some people just don't get it"
"What do you call a good looking girl in Wisconsin? A Tourist!"
"complaining about your wife's stories will result in having to sit through her story about the time you complained about her stories"
"My husband asked me to act like a ""naughty school girl"" for him so I forged a note from my mother saying I don't have to participate."
"Why are the whores in the docks never hungry? There are so much seamen there."
"The war on Christmas? Yeah, I started it. But in my defense, maybe Santa warns a person before his home invasion and I don't take him out."
"How does an abstract artist paint? They wipe their ass with canvas."
"I just emptied a caprisun into a glass and added vodka so that's where i'm at in life."