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Joke of the Day

"complaining about your wife's stories will result in having to sit through her story about the time you complained about her stories"

"I'm tired of being dissed by automated restroom paper towel dispensers."

"What's a jewish dota 2 player's favorite skill? shekel shot"

"What sort of animals make the best TV presenters ? Gnus - readers !"

"Have you heard about the free, legal, new release movie download service? Yeah, all that you need to do is hack into Sony's email server. HAHAHA... topical."

"Mega thread for Pen Pineapple Apple Pen Jokes. I have a Plane, I have Twin Towers UGH.... Nine Eleven. I think Reddit can come up with better ones!"

"First date: [ok, don't let her know you're a t-rex] Her: I absolutely love it when guys open the car door for me Me: Shit."

"The teacher asked little Timmy why he brought his cat to school... He replied crying ""Because I heard daddy tell mommy that he was gonna eat that pussy when Timmy leaves for school today!"""

"Why was the Roman upset with the porn site? They only had XXX videos"

"A girl phoned me the other day and said...""Come on over, there's nobody home."" I went over. Nobody was home."