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Joke of the Day

"My wife told me to find someone else if anything ever happened to her so I don't know why she got pissed when she found my ""prospects"" list."

"When mad at the hubby, I just tweet about it. I don't sleep with a waitress that looks just like him. I'm talking to you David Arquette."

"How do you get a horse out of jail? Hay bail."

"So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links."

"Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected."

"Call me old fashioned, but I think any woman that can open the lid of a jar by herself is a witch."

"What do you call a black guy who just graduated from medical school? Doctor, you racist son of a bitch."

"""Another day another dollar."" - African kids"

"The leading cause of being cryptic is stuff."

"Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? It's two tired."