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Joke of the Day

"Alcohol and calculus don't mix... ...never drink and derive."

"pizza is my favorite winter activity"

"I always said ""Aim for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."" But apparently that's not a valid excuse and I can't work for NASA anymore."

"Why can't Cinderella play soccer? Because she keeps running away from the ball"

"How do you ask a priest to hand you the spaghetti? Pasta pasta, pasta."

"After everything I put, say to yourself 'So did Michael Jackson' I went to the beach on a sunny day. I saw an ice cream stall. I bought an ice cream. It melted."

"I hope there's a special place in Hell for me. I'd hate to be lumped in with all those other assholes."

"How to decide whether to get A Black PS4 or a White PS4! Well it's really quite simple! It's what you prefer! The Black PS4s run faster however the White PS4s have a better future!"

"Why does everyone hate Hitler? The man was a hero... After all he did kill Hitler"

"What's the difference between Christianity and Judaism? Christians pay for their sins"