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Joke of the Day

"I hope there's a special place in Hell for me. I'd hate to be lumped in with all those other assholes."

"After I orgasm, I yell ""Aaaaand scene."" Then I push him off me, throw him his clothes while holding the door open& say ""Ummm. We'll call u."""

"A hooker has sex with a leper... he said ""keep the tip."""

"A Freudian slip.. is when you say one thing but you mean a mother."

"I may not have as many Oscars as Leo anymore but... I've still got as many Tour De France wins as Lance Armstrong."

"I don't know about you guys... but I don't want Trump's trickle down economics...."

"Why do so many people like hanging out with Mr. Mushroom? Because he's a Fungi!"

"I don't usually get political on social media but Gildan has no right making t-shirts."

"What do you call a sexually-confused Arctic Circle? Bi-polar"

"When I smacked Dwayne Johnson's ass... I really hit Rock bottom."