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Joke of the Day

"Why can't Cinderella play soccer? Because she keeps running away from the ball"

"I wish cats came with a counter that told you what life they were on. Number 8 kitty? Maybe you need to work on that attitude."

"What does the world of politics have in common with my toilet? They're both clogged with shit."

"How do you compliment a scarecrow? Tell him he's outstanding in his field!"

"Dont do phone sex Or you'll get hearing aids"

"I'm ok with women faking it in bed. I faked everything to get her there."

"It's sad that the only thing great about my job is that my chair spins -__-"

"Ok gas pump, enough! Credit or debit? Zip code? Reward Card? Car Wash? Receipt? What octane? It takes less buttons to launch a nuke!"

"Hey you! Did you lose your nose? I just found it in my business."

"I'm pretty sure my kids got my good looks... My wife still has hers."